My mother has often shared certain frustrations about her work environment. “Sherri just has to talk about penis envy”, “The women at the front are always gossiping about students”, and “The women think that the dean likes me so much because I have a pretty face” are examples of what I get to listen to when I fold my laundry at home every other weekend. My mom’s complaints can often be boiled down to a problem over what is and isn’t proper for the workplace. Should Sherri be talking about penis envy after taking off her uncomfortable shoes and walking around the office bare-foot (because stilettos are in fact the reincarnation of penises)? Should there be more control over student gossip? And should the women and men in the office be suggesting why they really think my mom got her job?
You may have noticed that it almost doesn’t matter where my mom works; these problems happen in all offices. I would like to tackle, just for a day, the dramas of the Undergraduate Advising Office in the OU College of Business. I would like to extend the idea of what is or is not proper for the work place to a discussion over gender: What links exist, if any, between gender rolls and the ability for an office to appear professional?
Observation:
Upon strolling into the Michael F. Price School of Business, one can’t help but to notice the carefully chosen décor, professional color schemes, and gold lettering on the walls paying homage to the kind individuals who made the college possible. This building looks like a business college. Students throughout the building proudly type on their lap tops as if they want all people passing by to know that they will make over $100k someday. The clicking and clacking of polished leather shoes echo in the hall. This is a place of prestige, and surely, the undergraduate advisement office is no exception.
My mom holds the unofficial title of “The Hostess with the Mostest” in this office. Basically, my mom is first in line when it comes to dealing with angry parents, failing students, and important visiting guests. My mom spends much of her day being busy with taking calls, greeting people, scheduling appointments, and informing the counselors about their next appointment. In the time between, conversation is always happening behind the front desk, whether it is between my mom, student workers, or counselors that wander out of their offices. My mom works amongst mostly younger females, about in their 30’s or 40’s. This is what makes my mother’s job interesting; her coworkers hold a melting pot of views very different than her own, and most importantly, know how to get a little rise out of her whenever they like.
Like all good conversation, most subjects talked about behind the front desk end up leading towards inappropriate conversation if the wrong person were to hear. It could be anything, too much information about someone’s boyfriend, someone thinks a student is “cute”, someone thinks so and so is an evil witch, and the list goes on. Knowing my mom better than anyone in the office, I can sense a lot more out of her than any of her coworkers can. The feeling that I get from my mom, more than any other feeling, is a little discomfort and disapproval, both are covered up by a shy giggle every time. The most uncomfortable conversations are spurred when the counselors are involved. If Michael (one of the few men in the office) comes out to check his next appointment and goes back to him office, my mom always has to look over at me to ask in a quiet voice, “Leah, do you think he’s gay?” If Sherri walks into the front with no shoes on, she has to explain why her stilettos represent penises, to which of course my mom has nothing to say in response other than “Sherri, what are you talking about? You’re not thinking!” My mom spends a lot of conversation time acting surprised, and not saying too much unless wedding planning, flowers, or something positive is said.
From what I have gathered, there is a constant administrative effort in place to ensure the professional appearance of this office. In fact, it has been described to me as a constant fight. Do certain gender roles have anything to do with this struggle? And what should be considered professional when it comes to expressing certain thoughts at work?
Analysis:
Gender has everything to do with the subjects talked about. Since there were usually only women behind the front desk, there was a lot of “girl talk”. Not only did most of this conversation make my mom feel uncomfortable, but if a student, professor, or an administrator was to overhear the conversation, they would not be comfortable or happy with what they should hear. There was something about this type of conversation that was very unprofessional, but why?
This office is a place where the appropriateness of the business world meets the rest of the world. The workers are expected to act a certain way, but often do not. A stark contrast I saw in the office was the way my mom would handle certain conversation compared to the younger women. My mom represented some sort of “old school” way of thought and doing. There are certain attitudes inherent in my mom because of her upbringing. It turns out, I agree with my mom on some level. There are certain roles that men and women fulfill in a professional environment that make their actions more appropriate. For instance, Career Services advises that it is better for females to wear a dress skirt with hose in a professional atmosphere.
Interview:
I learned the most from just talking to my mom. “It doesn’t matter how stupid I am, the dean just wants a pretty face up at the front and I can learn the rest latter.” My mom can talk for hours about how her coworkers need to learn to act more “professional”. When I asked my mom what this meant, she characterized the word by proper dress and proper conversation. “When someone wears a black thong under white pants and bends over all day long, they are being very inappropriate. Women shouldn’t talk about their boyfriends or penis envy. No one needs to hear about those things. The counselors also need to learn not to gossip about students.” My mom also acknowledged that the way people act at work is a function of social class and/or upbringing, “I think that we have different ‘types’ of ladies at work. For example, I would never drink during lunch with my coworkers.” When I explained to my mom that I see male professors from the physics department enjoying a beer with their lunch, my mom responded with, “well, they are men in the physics department. In the business college, we are supposed to stand out.”
I think that my mom interprets appropriateness almost entirely through how females and males fulfill certain traditional roles. I certainly have a more difficult time doing so, but then again, I’m not a part of the Michael F. Price School of Business. Despite the fact that I barely agree with a lot that my mom says over acting professional, I still think that she acts the most appropriate in her office.
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